I'll Be There For You
by RISVULove
Summary: Sequel to I Am All You Need. Family/Romance/Drama. Alex and Casey are married and Kayla is 5 years old. Alex knows that Casey is away a lot because of work but what happens when she digs deeper and finds something's she wished she hadn't? Drama ensues. It's an eventual happy ending and very Calex centred.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Okay this is a sequel to I Am All You Need. Sorry for the wait! Just to let you all know in the story Kayla is 5 and Alex and Casey are married! I hope you all enjoy this story! Review and let me know what you think!

xx

"Case, will you be long?" I ask into the phone resting on my shoulder as I dish up dinner for the redheaded girl sitting waiting expectingly for her meal

"I don't know Alex, is everything okay?"

"We haven't seen you properly in days.. I miss you"

"I miss you too baby, both of you, but I need to sort this trial out. I'm sorry I can't get home sooner, I would if I could"

"Okay Case.. I guess I'll see you later then"

"Bye Al, love you"

"Yeah, you too"

I disconnect the call and use one hand to throw my cell over onto the counter and hand Kayla up her dinner

"There you go baby girl"

"Thanks Mom" she smiles and I ruffle her hair as I finish cutting her chicken into pieces

She eats quickly and I smile up to her as I finish my meal

"Yeah Kay?"

"Can we go watch the Simpsons?"

"What do you say?"

"Please.."

"Good girl, you go in and sit down and I'll come and set the DVD up in a minute"

She smiles and races to the living room "Thank you Mommy!"

xx

I get into bed and sigh. I'm alone, again. Since Casey got that promotion I really haven't had her around all that much

I do miss her, a lot but its her job. She's always loved her job.

It's just hard, she's missing things at home with me and Kayla. She's missing important things. She missed Kayla's first tooth, not to mention the hell I went through when she was teething! She missed the first steps, the first time she said Mommy. Important things, things that she promised she'd be around for.

I sigh, I feel like a single mother and I know that she loves us just as much as we love her so I don't want to leave her over this. We'll just need to talk about it.

I don't know what she can do though, she's the DA, her jobs important.

-So are we.

I lay down and pull her pillow against me, I'll see what happens.

xx

"-Shit!" I hear a crash and hear her swear echo through the hallway

I get up and turn on the hallway light and she meets my eyes as soon as the bulb lights above her

"I woke you?" She asks and I shake my head

"I wasn't sleeping, what did you break?"

"The vase"

I nod "Did you clear it up?"

She kisses my cheek as she walks in past me "Of course I did Al, I'm not an idiot"

I turn off the hall light and follow her into the room "How was work?"

"Hell.. This trial will be the death of me, ya know that"

I see how tense her shoulders are so I sit in behind her and rub her shoulders

"It'll be okay, you're going to be fine Case"

She leans against me "I'm so sick of that new ADA, she cannot do a thing for herself, which is making my job twice as stressful, it's like I have to hold her hand just so she can do menial tasks"

"What's her name anyway?"

"ADA Charlotte Montgomery"

"Oh.. How professional sounding"

She smiles "Yeah, she couldn't be further from professional, I swear, she's annoying me so much"

"Fire her"

"No.. I'll just train her in, fuck it"

I smile slightly "Yeah that's what you're like, if you don't like her, change her"

She smiles and kisses me and obviously still notices I'm upset "What's wrong Al?"

I sigh "Nothing.."

"Al.."

"You're away a lot Casey"

"Away?"

"In work"

She looks back to me "In work.. Al, I have to work"

"No, you don't, I gave you the option to stop working so we could be a proper family-"

"Alex, I don't want to have to live off your inheritance"

"Our inheritance Casey, we're married now"

"I know we are Al-"

"Well I wish you'd act like it"

"What's that supposed to mean?" She huffs

"Well, I'm just saying you haven't been around much, we miss you Casey"

"I miss you too Alex but I have to work, and before you say I could live off you I wouldn't feel right about that, I want to provide for us and I'm sorry I haven't been around much but I'll try okay? I'll try harder"

"Please do, because you do realise Kayla hardly knows you?"

"Don't be ridiculous-"

"I'm not being ridiculous"

"What? She honestly doesn't know me?"

"She knows you and knows you're her Mother but I'm pretty sure she knows me better, like I know you'd be away, even if you were working nine to five but still, you hardly ever see her. She needs her Mama"

"I know, I promise I'll be home earlier from now on, for both of you"

"Okay"

I'll believe it when I see it.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mommy?"

I smile down to Kayla "Yes baby?"

"Will Mama be home for games tonight?"

I look around the kitchen avoiding her eyes "Um, I'm not sure baby but she could be"

"She said that we could play whatever game I wanted"

"Well if she isn't home baby, me and you can still play whatever you want, okay?"

She nods "Okay Mama..."

"What's wrong baby?" I ask and she sits up at the table

"Nothin' Mommy"

"Kayla, don't tell lies, your tongue will go black"

She sighs "Will Mama come home ever?"

I lift her into my lap and keep my arms around her "Sweetheart, your Mother has an important job but she still loves me and you very very much and she will definitely come home, okay?"

"Okay Mommy... But how is it you can stay home?"

"Because I wanted to stay home with you"

"Didn't Mama want to stay with me?" I see the tears in her eyes and curse myself, I could've phrased that better

"Baby, one of us had to stay in work so we could have money and I knew that I wanted to stay, your Mama was nice enough to let me stay to mind you. We couldn't both stay home baby girl even though we both wanted to, if we both could stay home we would"

"Oh.. Okay then"

"Is there anything else you want to ask me?"

"Can I go play?"

I smile "Of course baby"

xx

"Kay! Al! I'm home" I hear her call and Kayla rushes down the hall

"Mama! Mama!"

I watch as Casey scoops Kayla into her arms

"Are you still my best girl?" Casey asks and Kayla nods

"Yeah Mama!"

"Good girl! So what did you do today?"

"Mommy and I painted and we went to the park and we talked about how you'll always come home cause you love us-"

"-What?" Casey asks and I walk into their line of sight

"I'll talk to you later Case, lets go get some dinner"

She nods and carries Kayla to the kitchen.

The whole way through dinner I get odd looks from Casey and after an hour of playing snakes and ladders at Kayla's insistence Casey are together on the couch

"So what happened today then?"

"She asked if you were ever going to come home and then I explained that you had an important job and we both couldn't stay home"

"Was she okay?"

"Yeah, when I explained she was fine! Don't worry baby"

"Oh.. Okay" I catch the look on her face and I take her hand

"It's okay. She's fine Ca.."

"You're right though, I need to be home more"

"I'm so glad to hear you say that Case, I really have missed you"

"I've missed you too baby, c'mon"

I smile "Where are we going?"

"To bed"

I smile "So you really did miss me then, it isn't even 8pm yet"

"Well, it's always nicer slower"

xx

"I love you, ya know that?" Casey says and I kiss her again

"I do and I love you too" I reply and I watch as she stands out of bed and throws on her dressing gown

"Where're you going?" I ask and she smiles almost sadly

"I'm going to lie with our daughter"

"Yeah? Can I come?"

"You don't even have to ask baby, c'mon" she takes my hand and I smile as we walk to Kayla's bedroom

We sneak in and lay each side of Kayla

"She's beautiful" She whispers and I smile

"She really is, she got your looks"

She scoffs "Hardly"

"Oh she did, she's gorgeous, our beautiful baby girl"

"She's not our little baby anymore, she's after getting big Al"

"She has hasn't she?"

"I'm sorry I haven't been around Al"

"As long as you're around like you were today I don't mind"

"I'll be here for you, both of you Al"

"Thank you"


	3. Chapter 3

-Casey's POV-

"Charlotte! What the hell! What did you do!" I shout as she smiles coyly up at me, I hate that look on her face, my God, she nearly just let a rapist walk and she sits here with a smirk on her face

"Casey chill!-"

"Chill?! Are you shitting me?! You very near threw the case and as well as that nearly got suspended, is it your goal to mess with me or something?!"

"No! Of course not. Okay, I'm sorry, I'll try harder"

This was her trying? Oh sweet lord..

"..Casey, how about I buy you a drink to make up for it?"

I think she just winked at me.

Oh my God.. Either she likes me or this is her way of making up for her mistakes, both options are horrible in very different ways

"Um.. Charlotte I'm married you know that right?"

"Yeah, I know to the legendary ADA Alexandra Cabot. That doesn't mean you can't drink though, right?"

"Right but-"

"No buts Case, it's one drink, I'm sure Alex won't mind you being half an hour later than usual?"

I sigh, the problem there is she would mind, I was already late 3 times after I promised I'd be home more, and she was not happy. I shouldn't go.

"Sorry Charlotte, I better not-"

"Casey, c'mon, we'll hit whatever bar you like. Is there one close to your house so you won't be far from home?" She asks as she throws on her jacket

I'm sure one quick drink wouldn't be a problem. Alex will be fine when I explain.

xx

I giggle as Charlotte helps me up the stairs

"W-We drank too much" she slurs and I nod as best as I can

"I'm going to get in so much trouble!"

"Why?"

"It's.." I look at my cell "3am and I said I wouldn't be late" I smile as she stumbles up the hall

"So I'll see ya tomorrow Case"

"Yup, see you then. Hey how about you try not to nearly throw anymore cases, you were nearly giving me heart failure!"

She smiles "Okay boss! I promise!" She laughs as I unlock the door and I wave as I slip inside

I lean against the wall and flip the light switch and when I do I see a very pissed looking Alex

"So... It's 3am and you're drunk" she says cooly as she gestures to me and I contain my laugh

"I am"

"That's what you want to say to me?! No apology? Casey you're joking!"

"Alex, I know I'm crazy late but it won't happen again-" I'm suddenly not finding this so funny, she looks hurt. It's funny, I sober up very fast when I'm trying to apologise

"Oh how many times am I going to hear that! I'm so sick of it! Every time you say it, I, like an idiot, believe you! I'm going to bed"

I follow her and as we get to the bedroom door she stops me

"You're on the couch"

"What? Why?"

"Because, I'm that angry with you right now I can't even look at you"

"Alex-"

"Couch Casey, we'll talk in the morning"

xx

I wake up, my head pounding. Oh I drank too much!

I reach out for Alex and instead hit my hand off the glass table in the centre of the room

"Oww" I moan and then I hear her cough

I sit up and feel my head spin "Morning" I say and she mumbles a reply then hands me a glass of water and two aspirin

"Take them" she says and I pick up on her harsh tone

She is pissed off.

"Thanks Al"

She walks back over to the island in the kitchen and I take the tablets

I look down at my cell, 8am. Shouldn't Kayla be up by now?

"Hey Al? Where's Kay?"

"Olivia took her to school, I need to talk to you"

Uh oh.

"Al-"

"I need to talk to you, not the other way 'round"

I nod and she walks back in to the living room, coffee in hand for herself

"So, lets lay out what I have in my head right now. You got promoted, I stayed home with our daughter, you started working until all hours of the night, I brought it to your attention, you promised to try harder which lasted for less than a week and then you go out drinking and come in absolutely blind drunk, how does that sound to you?"

"Um-"

"It's a rhetorical question, any answer that isn't 'bad' is wrong"

I bite my lip "Al, I get it I shouldn't have went out but Charlotte convinced me-"

"Woah! Wait, go back there, you were out with the new ADA?!"

"Um.."

"So drinking with a co-worker is more important than your family?"

"Alex, of course not, I just wanted to have one drink but it got out of hand, I don't want you to think that I think drinking is more important than you and Kay, nothing is more important than you both"

"So why the hell can't you come home! Our daughter loves you! I love you! Why can't you just stop pissing around and come home to us?!"

"Last night was the first night I didn't come home because of something that wasn't work Alex, I know I should've come home but I wanted a drink"

"You can drink here! Just come home! I'm so sick of not seeing you! You do realise Charlotte sees you more than I do?"

"And what? Al I work with her!"

"And you drink with her.." She snaps and I sigh

"Alex have you something you want to say?"

"Well we worked together, we drank together, didn't we? And what happened then? We got together-"

"-I was single when we got together! You really think I'd do anything when we're married?!"

"Well I really thought you'd be home with your family so Casey, I don't know what to think of you right now"

"Alex, I'm not cheating on you!"

"Well why are you staying out so much? Why work so late? I understand you're the DA but if I was in your position I would try so much harder to get home to you both! The only reason I can come up with for you to be staying so late is if you had something to keep you there!"

"I do! Work! Work keeps me there! It sure as hell isn't Charlotte! Jesus Christ Alex! Why would I cheat on you?!"

"I don't know! I don't have a fucking clue!"

"I'm not cheating Alex! I'm not"

My head is pounding now, the combination of the hangover and stress I guess

"Alex, I need to go get ready for work"

"What! Are you joking?"

"No I'm not, I don't have time for this, sitting here as you shout false allegations at me. I'm going to work, to actually do work, ya know, not my ADA"

"Casey-"

"No Alex. I'm getting in the shower, alone.. Don't bother me"


	4. Chapter 4

I cannot believe she thinks I'm cheating!

Okay I've been crappy lately, like a lot but I don't deserve that. I do well in my job because I'm dedicated and I push myself, not because I goof off and bang my ADA's.

Ugh. 4 years married and she just assumes I'm cheating with the ADA. The ADA who I only actually properly talked to last night.

If only she knew what was actually happening.

I get it, I've been a horrible wife and mother, I really should be around more but for her to accuse me of cheating, that's too far.

I'll try with her, I'll try and fix this but I need to show her that I'm happy with her, her and Kay. I don't need anybody else.

Charlotte walks in, dark glasses on and I smirk

"You look healthy" I note and she sighs

"Yeah I feel healthy too" she says sarcastically and I smirk

"Last night was actually fun"

"Now, not so much" she sits across from me "So did you get in as much trouble as you thought you would?"

I roll my eyes "Yeah, and some"

"What's her problem anyway, it was only a few drinks?"

"I'm never home" I reply as I hand her a coffee "I'd be pissed if I was her too"

"So what.. Like I get it, you're out a lot but you're working its not like you're having an affair"

I cough awkwardly

"Oh my God! Are you having an affair?!" She asks excitedly and I scoff

"No but that doesn't stop Alex thinking I am"

"Oh? Right.. That must be a bitch"

I smile "Yeah, a little but ya know, I'd probably think along them lines if I was at home and she was working. I understand I guess"

"Wow.. You really are the bigger person"

"There's nothing wrong with Al it's just shit like this annoys me, if I was going to cheat why would I have married her? Cheating is one thing I can't stand and for her to accuse me just out of the blue, well, it's upset me"

"Shouldn't you tell her this? Like, keeping this from her can't be good for your marriage"

"I will, eventually, I just didn't leave for work on the best terms this morning"

"Oh? You fighting with her?"

"Not fighting but... disagreeing"

She laughs "That's the same thing Casey"

"Oh not with Alex it isn't, if we were fighting I'd know we were, it would be beyond cold, trust me. It would be world war 3"

"I'd love to be in a relationship like that, where you know the person that well, it's sweet"

"I really love her, I do.. I'm not cheating or anything but I just can't say anything yet.."

She frowns "What?"

"Okay, if I tell you you cannot tell anybody" I warn and she glances around the room

"Okay? What's going on Casey"

"I will fire you if you tell Alex" I threaten and her eyes widen

"It's serious then"

"Yeah. It is"

"I won't say anything"

I sigh and take a file out of my desk drawer "Okay, well, I.. um.. Here just read it" I hand her the files and she reads in silence for a minute and looks back up to me

"You need to tell Alex"

"I can't.. Not until I know for sure, I can't worry her, or Kayla"

"Casey.. She'll be pissed if you don't tell her"

"They have tests to do Charlotte, I can't"

"Let her be there for you! Oh my God Casey how can you keep this from her! Wait, it says they think its hereditary? Did a relation have it-"

"My Mother.. It killed her. Well, it was a combination of that and the chemo killed her but.."

"Oh Jesus.. Casey"

I sigh "Alex doesn't know anything, okay? So please, don't tell her"

"You should tell her! Oh my God! Casey, if your Mom died from Ovarian Cancer and now they are testing you- they must have a reason to test you? Have you had pains?"

"Yeah. They were bad to be honest. One day at lunch I thought I was going to either scream or cry from the pain so I knew I needed to go to the ER, see what it was"

"Casey, Alex needs to know"

"How can I tell her Charlotte? I don't even know what's happening?! How can I explain it to her-"

"Just say they are testing you, does she know about your Mom?"

"Yeah, but.."

"No buts Casey, you need to tell her, she'll understand, she'll support you. Wait is that why she's riding your ass about being late have you been getting tests?"

"No, I only had that one during lunch but I've been late because I'm not working as fast as normal, like last week I sat here for an hour, a file sitting in front of me and I couldn't concentrate at all, I sat just thinking, what would happen if I died?-"

"Talk to her"

"But we're fighting-" I'm just looking for excuses now

"Life's too short, go talk to her, I'll handle the Roberts case"

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not Casey. Listen, I hope you're okay. Let me know okay?" She flashes me a soft smile

"I will, thanks Charlotte"

"No problem boss"

I smile at her and when I walk out into the hall I sigh, this should be interesting.


	5. Chapter 5

"Casey? What are you home for?" She says the harshness still in her voice and I bite my lip

"I need to talk to you"

"Oh? Is it an apology-"

"Sit down Alex"

She rolls her eyes "Hurry up, Kay is in the room getting changed"

I sigh "Alex, if you aren't mature enough to handle this like an adult-"

"Me? Casey don't fucking start on me, you're the one out banging-"

"No one! Alexandra do you honestly think I'd need to stray away from you! Look at you! Jesus Christ you are a god! Why would I need anyone else!?"

"I don't know-"

"I don't need anyone else! That's what I'm trying to say!" I argue and after a minute of heavy silence Kayla is racing into my arms

"Mama!"

I lift her up "Hi baby girl! How was your morning with Mommy?"

"Good, we watched cartoons and-"

Alex stops her "Kay do you wanna stay in Aunty Rena's for today"

The girls eyes light up "Can I?!"

"Of course" Alex smiles "Mama will drop you over, wont you?"

She glares at me and I ruffle Kayla's hair "Of course baby, you go pick a teddy and a book to bring okay?"

She races down the hall and I turn back to Alex "I'm going back to work, I shouldn't have came home at all"

"Why did you come home anyway?"

I sigh "Why do you think! I wanted to fix what was going on between us, clearly you don't want too"

Lie. You were too pigheaded to actually listen to me!

Kayla calls me and I walk out and see her at the door bouncing excitedly waiting to go

I turn to Alex "I'll be home later"

"Yeah.. have fun with your girlfriend"

I huff, will she ever trust me!

I walk out without even bothering to reply, you can only say one thing so much until it wares out

xx

"So you didn't tell her? Casey-" Charlotte starts and I sigh

"Charlotte, we fought, again. She didn't even give me time to breathe before she was jumping down my throat about my 'bit on the side'"

"Casey! You need to tell her-"

"No I don't, and to be honest I don't really want to go home tonight, I'm staying here"

"That's not good for you-"

"I don't care!" I grumble throwing my pen on the desk "Oh my God! She just assumes I'm banging you-"

"Woah! Wait! Me?! She thinks its me?"

I sigh "Sorry, yeah.."

"Um, Casey, I'm in a relationship with a man..Why don't you tell Alex that?"

"Well first I didn't know that and second it probably won't make a difference, she'll still assume I'm cheating- wait, did you not wink at me?"

"Wink at you?... Oh! that wasn't a wink!" She smiles shyly "I have a minor twitch in my left eye, haven't you noticed?"

"No... Oh sorry... I thought- Anyway, Alex will still think I'm cheating!"

I notice the twitch then, how the hell did I miss that before? I close the file on my desk and Charlotte continues

"-If you'd tell her about the hospital appointments I bet she'd realise how wrong she is" she hands me a coffee she's poured and I shake my head

"Tonight I'm staying here, it'll do"

"Fine, but I do think you should tell her"

xx

I hold my head in my hands, my stomach is really sore!

I sigh and pull myself from my desk, walking usually helps when I get the pain in my side, the pain usually eases after a few minutes. Not this time.

Mom got pains, bad pains. It's likely it was passed down to me but I think I'm clinging to hope.. It doesn't look great though does it?

The doctor said she'd call Friday with a time for me to come in. To be honest I cannot wait, I'm obviously eager to know if this is as serious as I think.

I walk over and stand by the window and suddenly I feel the nausea hit me, like a train. I heave and vomit onto the wooden floor. Great, now I have a bug.

I walk over to my desk and then get sick again! Seriously!

I look at my cell, 5am. I should've gone home.

I feel the sweat literally pump from me, God what the hell is going on. I lean back against the table and my eyes slip shut, rest, that's what I need.

xx

-Alex's POV-

I walk up the hall and with every step I make towards the office, the worse I feel. I check my watch, 6am. She could be awake?

I shouldn't have left her here though- no matter how angry I was.

I knock gently "Case? Sweetheart, you awake?"

I walk in and freeze, I see the vomit on the wooden floor boards as well as Casey, asleep by her desk

"Case? What're you doing down there?" I kneel by her side and lay my hand to her head, she's freezing, yet the sweat is dripping from her

God she must be very sick.

I shake her gently "Baby, wake up"

Nothing? Okay don't panic.

"Casey?"

I run my hand down her arm and stop at her wrist, feeling the slow paced pounding of her pulse.

Shit.

I grab her cell and immediately call 911, please God let her be okay!

xx

"Alex?"

I turn around and see the brunette race towards me

"Yes?"

She stops at my side "Is Casey okay?"

"Uh..Who are you?"

She offers her hand "Charlotte Montgomery"

"Oh so you are my wife's reason for working late-"

"Christ Alex don't be ridiculous, I'm straight and in a relationship, all be it a horrible one. Casey loves you she isn't cheating on you"

"Okay" I start "I don't even know you, don't you dare lecture me-"

"Did Casey even tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I say my patience wearing thin

"The reason she's been staying late is to try and catch up on work. Her concentration is shot"

What?

"Wait, how do you know this?" I ask

"Because, I listen to her, you accuse her of cheating and then when she tries to talk to you about what's actually going on you drive her away-"

"Why what's 'actually' going on?"

"She thinks she has Ovarian Cancer"

My head spins and I sit into the chair beside me "What? S-She... How do you know?"

"Because, she talks to me and at work and one day it all got to much and she told me everything"

"I can't believe she hid this-"

"She tried to tell you"

I huff "Are you here to make me feel bad?"

"No I'm here to tell the truth. Anyway, she was scared, she didn't want to worry you and your daughter as well, especially so early on"

"You only started working with her like a month ago Casey and you barely even talked..how are you so close?"

"I helped her"

I sigh and the doctor walks out and grabs out attention

"Casey Novak's family?" The young blonde doctor smiles at us and I smile back at her

"Yeah? Is she okay?"

We sit down "She has ovarian cancer"

I nod "Right... Is she okay? Can that kill her?"

"We're testing her, if the cancer is confined to the ovaries Miss Novak, with a lot of treatment has a very good chance"

"Is that what made her sick?"

"In a way" the doctor says "cancer of any kind, even so early on, can weaken the immune system, it made Casey more susceptible to illnesses and well that bug is going around"

"Okay"

"She's awake in there, the oncology doctor will be in to talk to you both shortly"

I shake the woman's hand "Thank you"


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Thanks for all the reviews! Keep them up please!

"Alex?"

"Case"

We just look at each other. I'm the first one to break the tense silence

"You could've told me"

Her eyes meet mine "You know?"

"Of course I know, it's not something the doctors are going to hide from me, unlike you"

"Hey, I didn't hide anything. They were testing me, I didn't want to worry you"

"You told Charlotte"

She sighs "If you're going to accuse me of cheating with her again-"

"I'm not. I'm not, and I'm sorry that I did in the first place but if you had told me the really reason all of this could be sorted"

"Yeah and you'd be fussing over me and looking at me differently, like now" I see the tears in her eyes

"I'm not looking at you differently Case. You're still my wife and the Mother of our child. My love" she rests her hand on mine and I lean down and kiss her

When I pull back she smiles slightly "I've missed you"

"You too Case"

"What are we going to tell Kay?" She asks and I bite my lip

"We won't say anything yet and if we have to say something later we'll tell her that her Mama is a little sick, don't worry about Kay, she's a good girl"

She smiles "She is"

"I'm sorry I assumed you were with Charlotte she talked to me and I realised I was really wrong. I am really, really sorry Casey, stress was all you needed" I apologise and she nods

"She's straight"

"She is.. She told me"

"I love you Alex, we've been together for 7 years. What's making you doubt me all of a sudden? Like, this is the first time you've ever accused me of cheating"

I lower my eyes "Nothing"

"Hey, don't lie to me"

I smirk slightly "Or my tongue will go black"

She laughs "We need to find a you hobby, get you away from Kay for a while, the child's language is taking over... Seriously, what's going on in your head? Talk to me"

"It's not serious, it's just.. over the last few months we haven't, um.. done much and I assumed you were looking elsewhere"

"Oh Al, no. I just felt pretty crappy, I guess we know why now" she smiles sadly "I'm sorry I gave that impression, I probably should've talked with you"

"Do you think that's our problem? Lack of communication?" I ask and she nods

"Yeah, I do. Like, if I talked to you you never would've assumed I was cheating, we wouldn't have fought.."

"I could've kept this a secret for you if you didn't want people to know baby, why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know. I didn't want to stress you out about nothing"

"But it's not nothing Case"

"I didn't know that until today, all I knew was that they were doing tests"

"Still sweetheart, I know things were tense with us but at anytime you can come to me"

"-Ladies?" The doctor interrupts and I catch Casey's hand as we both look to him

"I'm head of oncology, I'm here to discuss treatment for the cancer" he says blankly as he reads over what I assume to be Casey's chart

"Okay, well we got the results of the tests we carried out. The cancer looks to be in the process of spreading to the womb so the best thing to do, surgery wise is a very radical hysterectomy. In a radical hysterectomy your cervix, womb, two ovaries and fallopian tubes are removed. Now I realise that's a lot to take in, especially if you had a desire to have children in the future but Miss Novak, this cancer is spreading, this is the best option you have, believe me, it has the best chance of clearing this cancer out and keeping it out"

I look to her, feeling her hands tremble

"You want to take it all?" She asks and he nods

"I'm sorry but it's the best chance of getting all of the cancer, listen I don't expect you to make a decision right now, I'll leave you these pamphlets but Miss Novak we'll need an answer as soon as possible"

"Okay.." She mumbles and the doctor excuses himself, promising to be back later

I look to Casey who has visibly paled over

"Case-"

"I can't have another baby.."

I lay up beside her "Sweetheart, we can't think of that, we need to focus on you getting better"

"This is part of me getting better! If they do this I'm not able to have another baby!"

"You do realise I have a womb too right? I could always have another baby?"

"But we always said we wanted a big family Al, w-we.. You can't have-"

"I can have anything we need. As long as I have you, I don't mind having anything else. I'll pop out as many as we want, but I need you. Having you healthy and by my side is what I need. I'm happy having you and Kay, the rest we can discuss later"

"You don't mind?" She asks tears rolling down her cheeks

"Of course I don't darling, I love you, I want you safe and well. I want you to get better, have the surgery if that's what you want, don't think of expanding our family, think of you, think of me and Kay, we'd never be able to survive without you Casey. I love you Case, we both do"

"I love you too, both of you"

"Well then you need to consider this surgery, I need you to stay alive Case"

"You need to go get Kay from school" she says and I nod

"Do you want her here?"

"I'd love to have her here Al"

I kiss her "I won't be long, okay? See you soon"

"Bye Al"


	7. Chapter 7

-Casey's POV-

Mama! Mama! Mommy said your sick!"

I smile slightly as she tries to hop up onto the high hospital bed

Alex comes up and lifts Kayla up beside me as I kiss the young girls cheek

"I am a little sick baby but I'll get better, wont I ..Mommy?" Both me and Kayla looks to Alex who nods

"Of course you will, it'll just take some time"

"Mama?"

I look down to Kayla and smile "Yes sweetie?"

"Are you taking medicine like I did when I was in hospital?" She asks and I smile

"Yep! I am"

I see Alex tense at Kayla's mention of being in hospital, that's an experience we don't want to re live. She broke her arm when she fell playing outside and I thought Alex was going to end up in a bed beside Kayla, she was terrified.

I was too.

"-Mine made me sleepy, are you sleepy too?" Kayla asks and I smile

"A little"

We are all quiet for a few minutes and then Kayla looks to Alex

"Can we go home?" She asks and Alex sits in beside her

"Baby girl, Mama and me might need to stay here for a little while, so you need to sleepover in Aunty Olivia's for a while, is that okay?"

"Why can't I stay? I want to stay with you"

"I'm sorry baby, you can't"

"But why Mommy?" She looks like she's going to cry and I pull Kayla close to me

"Baby, I need to get better okay? And as much as we'd love to keep you here there is no where for you to sleep baby. Aunty Olivia will bring you over to see me and Mommy lots of times okay? Everyday, but you can't sleep here, and you need to go to school"

She stays very quiet and then nods "Okay Mama, I'll stay in Aunty 'Livia's"

I smile and kiss her cheek "Good girl"

xx

"So ladies, the surgery is scheduled for the day after tomorrow, we'd like to get it done as soon as possible and tomorrow you'll need to fast from food, I'll put that on your chart. Ma'am, this surgery, it's proved to be very affective for this type of cancer. We have faith that this will remove all the cancer and hopefully keep it gone. We'll know more after the surgery, so I'll call down tomorrow morning and check on everything but everything should be all okay for the surgery the day after tomorrow"

"Thank you Sir" Alex says and the doctor smiles

"No problem Ma'am. See you in the morning Casey" he says to me and I nod

"Thanks Doctor"

He leaves and Alex sits in beside me

"I'm so proud of you"

"Proud of me? For what?" I ask and she smiles

"I'm terrified for you, so I can't even imagine how you feel, yet you are so calm, collected"

"There is no point stressing yet, they could get it all?"

"They could" Alex agrees and I sigh

"What if they don't though? What if I still have the cancer? What if it spreads Al-"

"How about we take it one step at a time? We should wait until after the surgery and see where we are"

"I'm scared too Al. I know it's normal but .."

She takes my hand "I'm here, okay? No matter how bad this is or isn't, I love you and want you, don't think that this is going to change you Case-"

"It'll change me if I die-"

"Hey! No, no talking like that. Not in front of me" she cuts in, hurt in her voice and I lower my eyes

"Al, you'll need to think of that as an outcome. I know i-it's hard but A-Alex, this could kill me"

"Case-"

"Alex it could"

It's the first time either of us have properly mentioned it and I swear by the look on her face she hasn't thought of it that way before, she hasn't considered the fact that I could actually die.

"Yeah" she says blankly "Yeah- you could" she nods

I sigh as I see her swat away tears "Sorry" she mumbles and I shake my head

"Alex, c'mere" I open my arms and she turns away from me

"No.. I-I.. um, need air"

"Alex, don't you dare walk out of here" I warn as she gets to the door and I see her falter

She stands still, not daring to turn back around

"Alex, please, look at me"

She slowly turns to me "I don't want you to die Casey, I don't want to think of you dying on me, on us! At the risk of sounding extremely selfish, what they hell would I do without you? You're my wife! Casey, I'd be lost without you! I will not have you talking about dying around me. Okay, don't mention it near me, I don't want to think of you like that"

"Alex you're going to have to at least consider it! I have cancer! Even if it goes away after the operation, who says it won't reappear in a different place in 5, 10, 15 years time! Alex we need to think of it! I could die"

"Casey stop it!"

"No! I can't! It's all I've thought about! Sure, it could go now but Al, I'll be constantly afraid of it popping back up!"

"And what? Casey of course there's a chance of it coming back but can we just focus on getting rid of it first? Stop assuming this'll kill you-"

"-When can I see Kay" I cut in, the conversation upsetting both of us

"I'll go get her now"

"Alex-"

"I love you Casey. Just please, try and focus on a positive side of this, please"

"Okay, I will. I love you Al"

She kisses me and I take her hand "Drive safe"

"I will. Try and sleep Case, you need some rest"

I nod "I'll rest, see you soon"

"Bye Case"


	8. Chapter 8

"I love you Kay" I kiss the girls cheek and she cuddles into me

"Love you too Mama"

The doctor walks in "Miss Novak, we ready?"

I nod and Alex looks over to me "Its okay Al" I reassure her and she gives a very stiff nod and as I hand over Kayla

"Al" I stop her pulling back "I love you"

She kisses me "I love you too Case. This'll go fine. We'll be here when you get out"

"Okay, I'll see you later Al"

I smile and Kayla "Bye baby, see you soon"

The girl waves and I blow her a kiss as the doctors wheel me towards theatre

Okay, now I'm terrified.

I look around, seeing doctors, nurses, cleaners doing their day to day jobs, what's now menial tasks to them and I sigh.

I could never work in the medical field, seeing people, children die, not being able to do anything but wait and watch them slip away. Console grieving parents, families. That would be my career hell.

I see 'theatre' printed above the first door I'm wheeled in and the next 'OR5'

A tall grey haired doctor walks in and checks my chart

"Miss Novak?"

I look up at him and he smiles, a warm smile that puts me someway at ease

"I'm Doctor Harrington, I'll be doing operation" he checks another sheet of the chart "I wouldn't worry, this operation is done a lot nowadays, it's become a second nature. I'm confident it'll go well"

I nod "Thanks Doctor"

"Now, your vitals are good, you're ready to go in" he smiles as two nurses wheel me away

"I'll see you when you wake up Casey"

I lay back against the bed and once in the OR itself the nurses busy themselves sorting things out

One nurse walks back over to me, a mask in his hand

He's going to put me under..

Well, here goes..

"Count backwards from 10 Miss Novak"

"10...9...8...7..."

By 7 I'm gone, now here's hoping when I wake up this mess will be all over.

xx

"She's waking up" I hear a familiar voice say and when my eyes open I smile

"Al" I say a lot raspier than I imagined I would be

"Hey baby" she runs her hand through my hair

"Well, what happened?" I ask as I try and sit up and she stills me

"We'll wait until the doctor comes in"

I scowl "What? Why..?"

"Just, wait Casey, okay?"

She's tense, I look around the room and notice something's- or one, missing "Where's Kay?"

"Olivia came and got her" Alex says sitting on the side of my bed

I look down at my body, everything seems normal, apart from the bandaged up wound but it'll scar soon enough I guess

So what's going on?

"Alex, stop hiding stuff. What's happened? Did something go wrong?"

"No, no not wrong"

"Okay? So what?"

"I.. we'll wait until the doctor comes in"

"Alex! Stop, it's my body, tell me what the hell is wrong!"

The door opens and Doctor Harrington appears "Casey?"

I scowl "What happened Doctor Harrington? Why won't my wife tell me what's wrong?"

"Casey, there's a problem?"

"A problem? Okay.. What is it?"

"The hysterectomy was a success"

"Okay? So what?"

"Casey, it's spread"

"What! How-"

"It's rapid-" he starts and I cut him off again

"Two days? That's wrong! No way that spread in two days-"

"It hasn't just been two days Casey, the cancer is constantly working to invade tissues, I'm sorry"

"Where is it!?"

"Bladder"

"Shit" I mumble and he sits on the end of the bed

"It's early Casey, we've caught it really early"

"And what? That's a good thing!? It's rapid! Who gives a fuck when you catch it!"

"Casey! Stop!" Alex sobs and I growl

"No! I have all right to be like this Alex! This is just going to eventually eat away at me! They'll clear it out of one place and it'll go into another, I'd be better off throwing myself out the window, at least I'd be dying on my own terms"

She storms out, in tears and the doctor sighs "You shouldn't do that, she loves you"

"I don't need a lecture, thanks" I snap and he laughs lightly

"Casey, we can get rid of this cancer, only we don't have to wait, if you agree, we can start chemotherapy today"

"Chemotherapy? Oh my God.. So what? You need to explain this to me, what's going to happen when I get the chemo?"

"Well we use a combination of two drugs gemcitabine and cisplatin in the first few cycles of chemo, they fight off the cancerous cells"

"Okay.. Then what?"

"Then if the results are improving, we use Mitomycin. Its used in the last few stages to help keep cancer from coming back.."

"Okay.. Right so you want to start today. How often will I have it?"

"Well today is Saturday, so every Saturday, if that suits?"

"Okay.. And how do I get it? Like its injected?"

"It's actually through a pump, we'll have to put a central line in, just here" He puts pressure on my neck "then, it comes out here, just at the chest and that's where the pump goes"

"Right.. And what about Radiation?"

"No, it's not necessary in this case. We can control the cancer to the bladder. I take it a relative has had a similar experience?"

"My mother, she, had cancer and well, it spread, it started in her ovaries too and within two years of the diagnosis she was dead.. It went to her stomach, kidneys, liver, anywhere it could. Even her bones. Now do you see why the hell I'm so scared? What if I wind up like my mother, getting chemo and instead of the cancer killing her the chemo was"

"Casey, I can assure you once we get it out of your bladder it'll be gone, for now at least. As I'm sure you know there is always a chance of the cancer reappearing but we can get it out for now. I'm going to go and try and sort out an OR to enter that central line, call your wife, try and get her back here, no one should try and face this alone, as much as you think this is protecting you, it isn't. I'd know"

"You-?"

"Liver, and look at me? I'm back working, I won't lie, it's hard but Casey, you can at least try. Try and fight it. Call your wife"

I nod "I will.. Thank you Doctor Harrington"

"No problem Casey, I'll be down shortly to get you for the central line"

He leaves and I speed dial Alex, after five rings she answers

"What?!" She snaps and I sigh

"Come back, I need to talk to you"

"You're just going to throw yourself out the hospital window in the end anyway so why bother getting any treatment at all?"

I sigh "Alex, I was scared okay! I am scared..It's spreading. It was wrong of me to say that I would do that, I won't.. I'm sorry. Just come up and please talk to me"

"Okay"


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Thanks to those who reviewed! They really are wonderful to see, and TKR.87 don't worry I have no intentions of killing Casey off, but it's not going to be a walk in the park for the family either. Keep the reviews up!

xx

"Alex, look at me"

She huffs "Casey, I.. How bad is it? Can it kill you?"

"There is always that risk Alex, you need to realise that"

"Will this kill you"

"No, they are starting chemo this evening"

"Chemo?! But-"

"They have no other option, they really don't"

"Wouldn't surgery work?"

"It'd just spread again Alex.. I know chemo will be rough but it'll be worth it if it'd get rid of it"

"See, why couldn't you be like this earlier instead of suggesting you jump out the hospital window"

"I know, I shouldn't have said that, I have everything to live for but Alex, you don't understand"

"Why? Please explain it to me"

"I-It's Mom"

"Casey, of course you'd be afraid after what happened with your Mom. I know that must've been hard for you-"

"Alex, you don't get it, I'm in the exact same situation! It spread in her too, it started in her ovaries and eventually it was all over her - liver, kidneys, lungs, bones, stomach, brain. It traveled despite all the care she got and I know, I know things have developed since then, of course it has but I will not have you and Kayla watch me like me and Dad watched Mom, hoping, praying for some sign of recovery and not getting it. I won't, if I get that bad Alex I want to die naturally no extraordinary measures to save me- I mean it, okay?"

"Okay. But it won't go that far, you'll get the chemo and get better"

"I will. Listen I'm sorry I was insensitive earlier, I wouldn't leave you both like that"

"I know you wouldn't, now"

"I love you"

"I love you too Case"

Doctor Harrington walks back in and smiles when he sees Alex by my side

"Casey, we're ready if you are?"

I look up to Alex and back to him "Yeah, I'm ready"

"Good, okay, I'll get a porter to come get you then"

xx

I wake up and I feel no different with the exception of the slight pain in my side

Where the 'tunnelled catheter' as the nurses were calling it is out

This is freaky. I don't know why, I guess this makes it all the more real. I'm sick.

I sigh and the nurse turns around "Casey, you're awake" she smiles "I'll get your wife"

I smile as a thanks and within seconds Alex is in the room and to my surprise Charlotte's in behind her

"Casey, hey, how're you feelin'?"

I smile "Not bad, how're you? Work okay?"

"Yeah, works good. You bored in here yet? I hate hospitals there's never anything to do"

"Ah, see your wrong. I went down to the kids ward and made friends with this kid with a broken ankle, so we spent all day Thursday playing Xbox"

She laughs "You're joking!"

"No, she's not" Alex says disapprovingly and Charlotte smiles at me

"I take it Alex wasn't happy about you going down?"

"No, especially when I didn't tell her where I was going"

Charlotte laughs and I join in, to Alex's dismay

"So what? You just disappeared for an hour"

"-no she disappeared for four hours" Alex cuts in and as Charlotte laughs I catch Alex's smile

She sits in beside me "How're you feeling?"

"Sore, my side hurts"

She nods "Doctor Harrington said it'd cause some pain, other than that? Anything else"

"No, I'm okay" I look around "Where are we?"

"They moved us to a private room, Casey, Doctor Harrington and I were talking, he, um, suggested to the doctors that they keep you here for the next week to monitor you so they wanted us to be comfortable"

"I thought I might be kept in alright, I'm okay with it Al don't look so terrified"

"I know, I just didn't know how happy you'd be to be stuck here"

"Will you stay?"

She smiles and kisses my cheek "Of course I will"

Charlotte hands me a few magazines as well as a bottle of soda a"I brought this, I wanted to bring Vodka to go with it but Alex suggested I didn't" she smiles and Alex laughs

"Believe me, I would've welcomed a drink Charlotte"

I look up at her "Why don't you and Charlotte go for a drink together?"

There is a heavy silence and Charlotte shrugs

"I'd drink"

I roll my eyes "You'd always drink"

She smirks and I look over to Alex "Al, baby, I'm probably going to get the chemo and crash here anyway, I'm pretty tired, you should go for a drink if that's what you want"

"Really?" She asks "Are you sure? If you want me to stay-"

"I don't mind if you go, g'owan, go for a drink, you need to get out of here for a while, it's not good being cooped up in here all day everyday, go out, have fun"

"I'll come back soon, okay? I'll only be about an hour"

"Take your time Al"

Alex kisses me "I hope everything goes okay. If there's something wrong and I'm not waiting outside call me, okay?"

I nod "I'll call"

"Thank you"

They leave and I lay back just reading the magazines Charlotte brought and Doctor Harrington walks in

"Casey? I have a slight change in plan"

"Oh? Everything okay?"

"Yeah fine, it's just the oncologist recommends that we leave the first dose of chemo until tomorrow, since the surgery was so late in the day, it'll be early in the morning though so you should try and sleep"

I nod "I'm tired so sleep shouldn't be a problem, Doctor Harrington-"

"Call me Richard" he smiles and I nod

"Could I get some aspirin or something? This is really starting to hurt"

He nods "I'll speak to one of the nurses, I might have her throw a check on it too, make sure it hasn't moved or anything"

"Thanks Richard"

"No problem Casey, listen, I'll call down after chemo tomorrow, check that everything's alright"

"Thank you Richard, for everything"

"No problem Casey, sleep well and good luck tomorrow"


	10. Chapter 10

I smile as she walks back in quietly, trying not to wake me

"Al, I'm awake"

"Oh.. Sorry" she smiles obviously buzzed and I pat the bed

"I wasn't asleep baby, it's okay"

"How was your treatment? Are you in much pain?" She asks attentively laying in beside me

"Didn't have it"

She scowls "Why? Everything alright?"

"Everything's fine, Doctor Harrington said I should rest after the surgery so they are starting in the morning"

"Oh okay"

"How was drinks?" She smiles again and I kiss her cheek

"Great, that Charlotte girl is so nice, I see why you found her easy to talk too, she's sweet"

"She is, I'm glad you're getting along with her, she's a really nice person"

"What do you want tomorrow, will I bring Kayla here after your treatment?"

"I'm not sure how I'll be but bring her down, having her staying in Olivia's the whole time isn't good for her, if I'm not in a good way at least you spend sometime with her and bring her in to see me for a few minutes before she goes. Did she ask anymore about what's wrong?"

"No, Olivia said she was asking when we'd be home again but that's it"

"The poor girl probably doesn't have a clue what's going on"

"Case, tomorrow, aren't you nervous? Or scared?"

"Terrified, not of the chemo or the side effects, more of the outcome, what if it doesn't work?"

"We'll cross that bridge if we come to it, alright?"

I nod "I love you Al"

"Love you too Case, now try and sleep, you'll need all your energy for tomorrow. Goodnight Casey"

"Night Alex, sleep right"

xx

My head spins as I stand out of the wheelchair and get into the hospital bed, Jesus chemo does take a lot out of you, I feel like someone's just drained all my energy.

Alex runs her hand though my hair "Sleep Case"

"What 'bout Kay?"

"Olivia's bringing her down later, just relax"

I nod against her hand "Lie up with me?"

"I don't want to hurt you-"

"Please Al, hold me"

She lays in beside me and I bury my head against her

"I'm so scared Alex, I don't want to die" I mumble against her

She kisses my forehead and runs her hand along my back

"You won't die baby, the doctors are helping you"

"B-But it's rapid, out of control-"

"They didn't say it was out of control, actually the opposite, Doctor Harrington said its confined to the bladder"

"For how long though? How long will it take for it to spread again? Spread to somewhere important, somewhere harder to cure-"

"Stop stressing Casey, we need to focus on what's happening right now, take it day by day and right now you need to sleep and later if you're up to it we'll see Kay, okay, sleep"

"I love you Alex, so much"

"I love you too darling"

xx

I wake up and immediately hear Alex talking

"Mama has to get special medicine to make her better Kay and its making her really tired so that's why she's sleeping lots, okay?"

"Will you show her my card?"

I smile and pull myself up as Alex starts to answer "Kay" I rasp out "Did I just hear that you have a card for me?"

The girls eyes light up "Mama!"

Alex smiles and lifts the girl in beside me "Kayla, be careful, don't jump on Mama, it'll hurt her" she warns seeing Kayla get ready to pounce

I smile and pull the girl close to me, wrapping her in my arms "I missed you baby" I say "So, do you like sleeping over in Aunty Olivia's?"

"Yeah! She lets me stay up to watch Spongebob"

Alex smiles at me "Are you not sleepy in school?"

"No"

I smile "Well aren't you a big girl, we might let you stay up to watch Spongebob when we get home too"

"Really?" She smiles and I nod

"If it's alright with Mommy"

Alex sits in beside us "I don't see why not as long as you're not tired"

"Nu uh" Kayla shakes her head and I kiss her forehead

"Did you have dinner Kay?"

"Yup, 'Livia brought me to Mc Donald's"

I smile "You're getting spoilt in Olivia's aren't you?"

Kayla smiles "Yep"

Olivia comes a few minutes later and Alex laughs as she sits down "You've been ratted out Liv"

"About what?" She asks

"Staying up past bedtime to watch Spongebob" I cut in and Olivia looks to Kayla

"I thought you wouldn't say anything" she jokes and Kayla nods

"I forgot"

We all laugh and Kayla just smiles at Olivia

"Did you see the card she made this morning?" Olivia asks and I shake my head

"Pass it here Al" I ask and Alex hands me the pink card with 'get well soon Mama' printed on the front, obviously written by Olivia but also obviously coloured in by Kayla

I smile and kiss the girls cheek "It's lovely baby"

"Look, I wrote'd in the inside"

I smile at the girls grammar and open the card to see the lob sided handwriting

"Love you, from Kayla" I read and Alex and Olivia smile

"It's beautiful Kay, really pretty, thank you"

"S'okay Mama"

Alex sighs "Kay, it's time to say bye now, Mama needs to get some sleep"

"But she can sleep while I'm here"

"You need to go to Olivia's and get ready for school tomorrow baby, I'm sorry"

"No, I don't want to go, I want to stay with you Mama" she clings to me and I sigh

"Sweetie, you can't stay here, c'mon you need to go with Olivia"

"No! Mama, I want to stay with you and Mommy!"

Alex bites her lip "Kayla, do as we say, go with Olivia"

The girl begs Alex to let her stay and we both insist she needs to go but her being so young, doesn't understand why she needs to go, for her own sake.

"'Livia please let me stay" she directs her question to Olivia who gets down to the girls level

"I can't baby girl, you know I have to bring you home"

"Please"

It breaks my heart hearing her beg to stay, the longest we've ever been away from her was one night, she must miss us terribly, I miss her terribly

"Al, c'mon" I say and she faces me

"Where would she sleep?" Alex asks

"She's small, she can dose off beside me and we'll put her on the couch them, c'mon, sending her home with Liv like that'd be cruel"

"Fine"

Olivia smiles up at us and Kayla smiles when Alex says she can stay

I want her here, it's only now that I realise how much I missed her.

xx

Alex lifts her from my side "Out like a light" she smiles covering the girl with the blanket

I smile as Alex lays in beside me and immediately my face changes

"What's going on with her" I gesture to Kayla and Alex shakes her head

"Not a clue, ya know that sorta scared me, I've never seen her like that before, she looked afraid to leave us"

"I know she did, I guess she just misses us, like, I missed her and I know what's happening she doesn't all she knows is she can't be with us"

"She needs to go to school"

"You bring her in the morning, collect her bag on the way?"

"Yeah. I will. Tomorrow night she'll need to stay in Liv's"

"I know, but you need to bring her, don't have Liv take her from here that way you can just leave after she falls asleep"

"Yeah good idea Case. Anyway how are you feeling? Any less tired?"

"Yeah, a little, I feel kinda queasy though"

"Should I get the nurse?"

"No, no, I'm okay" I smile "I'll just sleep it off. C'mere and hold me"

She gets in beside me "I love you baby"

"Love you too Ally"


	11. Chapter 11

*1 week later*

"Casey" Doctor Harrington smiles "We have good news"

"Really?" I ask still half asleep, the chemo really taking its effect today, I can hardly keep my eyes open

"Yeah, the cancer doesn't seem to be growing or invading anymore tissues"

"Really? Richard that's great! So what's happening now?"

"Now we are working on the bladder, we're going to break down the cancerous cells and hopefully things will start looking up from there"

"So, how long will I need chemo for? Like, months?"

"In my opinion based on the extent of coverage in the bladder I'd say between 10-15 weeks"

"Okay, that seems reasonable"

"Casey, has the oncologist been down with you?"

"No? Should he have been?"

"No, I'll talk to him, get him to come down and talk to you"

"About what?"

"The side effects of the chemo"

"Oh right, okay"

"Don't worry, no matter what he tells you, should get better after the chemo has ended"

"What about my hair?" I ask and he stands off the side of the bed

"You should wait and talk to the oncologist Casey, surgery is my major"

"Cancer surgery, you must know something Richard"

He chews on his lip "Well, it's my opinion, that um, hair loss is a common side effect of some chemotherapy. It usually starts one to three weeks after the first chemotherapy dose and most people have significant hair loss after one to two months"

"So 8 weeks, I'm going to loose my hair"

"It's a possibility Casey"

I nod "I like my hair"

"It'll grow back when the treatment ends. I really wouldn't worry. Where's Alex by the way? You didn't fight again?"

"No, she had to go collect our daughter from our friends house"

"That girl is very sweet Casey, you both did an excellent job with her"

"Thanks" I smile slightly and I feel my heart twinge at the mention of Kayla's growing up, let's face it, I wasn't around all that much.

"Anyway," Richard starts "I'll get Doctor Roberts to come talk to you, he's a nice man, if you have any questions he'll try his best to answer them, he's very experienced I'm sure hell be able to handle anything you need to know"

I nod "Richard, thanks for everything, I really appreciate all the help"

"That's alright Casey"

xx

"Is there anything else you need to ask?" Doctor Roberts asks and when Alex looks to me I shake my head

"No" I mumble and he nods

"Okay Casey, I'll come and check on you this time next week, see if anythings changed"

I nod "Okay, thanks"

He leaves and Alex sits in beside me "Casey, it's okay-"

"-its not okay Alex. You heard him, this is actually worse than I thought it'd be and I expected it to be pretty bad"

"Okay, Case, breathe, he said them things could happen, that doesn't mean that they definitely will. Okay, tiredness, yeah that's probably a given, hair loss, there's a pretty big chance but that can grow back. The rest are only a chance"

"I've already felt nauseous"

"Casey, that's all that's definite. C'mon don't focus on the negatives"

"I guess"

"Case, no matter what happens you can get through it, believe me, I know you, I know you can fight this and believe me, when you fight nothing and I mean nothing is going to fight back, you're too damn stubborn for anything to fight back"

I smile and take her hand "Ya know Al.." My smile drops "Um.. If you wanted to leave, I wouldn't expect you to stay"

"Casey I want to stay here, like I know it's upsetting Kayla being away from us but I need to do what I can for you-"

"No, that, that's not what I mean, I mean if you want to leave.. me"

"Leave you? As in a divorce? Casey, are you joking!? You're my wife! I'm not leaving you because of this-"

"I know! I just wanted to give you the option, I mean, physically I'm not going to be great, for a long time and well I hardly expect you to wait-"

"And I don't expect you to be great Casey, I don't. Don't you worry about me waiting, I'll wait as long as you need me too, c'mon stop thinking like that"

I nod "Just offering"

"Don't baby, I love you and I will not be leaving you." She kisses my cheek "Never leaving you" she kisses down my neck "I love you"

I pull her over me and she runs her hands down my sides

"Hmm, I really love you" I moan against her ear and she smiles against my neck

"I'm not leaving you. No matter what happens, I'm here"

I nod against her "I know"

She moves up and kisses my lips and we're interrupted by a cough behind us

"Little eyes" I hear Olivia say and Alex moves off me, blush colouring her cheeks

I smirk as Olivia turns back around with Kayla and I laugh as Alex ties her dishevelled hair into a bun

"Mama! Are you okay?"

I smile as Alex kisses the girls cheek and lifts her up beside me

"I'm okay baby, how about you? Did you and Olivia have a nice dinner?"

"You had a milkshake, didn't you Kay?" Olivia smiles and Kayla nods

"Livia said if I ate all my vegetables I could get a milkshake"

"And you did?" I ask

"Uh huh" she nods

"So baby, how was Olivia's?"

"M'kay but I miss you Mama"

"I miss you too baby but it shouldn't be too much longer until I'm home"

"Really?!"

I catch Alex's confused look and I nod and turn back to Kayla

"Yeah baby, it won't be today but it'll be soon"

"Yay!" She wraps her arms around me and I kiss her cheek

"Now listen Kay, you're going to need to stay with Olivia for another little while but me and Mommy will be home soon, okay? You're going to have to stay with Olivia and be very good for her, okay?"

"Okay Mama, I'll be good"

"That's my girl"

xx

"We'll be home? Case you can't promise that to her" Alex says after Olivia and Kayla leave and I sigh

"I just want to tell her something she wants to hear, the poor girl must miss us"

"I know she does but giving her false hope isn't a great thing"

"Well Al, maybe it isn't false, I was talking to Doctor Harrington earlier and he said he'll try and clear me going home in the next couple of days"

"Really! Case, why didn't you say anything?" She asks and I smile

"I didn't want to give you false hope"

She chuckles softly and kisses my cheek "How're you feeling?"

"Okay to be honest, better than last week. I don't feel sick this week"

"Good. See Casey, side effects vary"

I smile "I'm still sleepy, will you hold me?"

She cuddles into my side and rests her head on my chest

"I don't care if you never get your sexual appetite back Casey, I don't care if you loose all your hair, you are still my wife and I still love you no matter what, don't you think I'm going to leave you. I couldn't leave you baby"

I smile and nod against her "Thank you"

"You don't need to thank me Casey"


	12. Chapter 12

"Easy Case" she says looping her arm around my waist and I smirk

"Al, I can walk, ya know. I'm having chemo I'm not actually physically disabled"

"I know, I just don't want anything to happen"

"I know baby"

We get in the door and she lays me into the couch

"I'm home" I smile as I look around the familiar walls "What time is Olivia bringing Kay at?"

"6pm" she smiles and hands me the carton of Chinese food we got on the way home

"I've been waiting for this" I smile and Alex sits beside me

"Me too, I'm so happy to have you home with me, you scared me ya know"

I lean over and peck her lips "I'm here now, that's all that matters baby"

"I missed home too ya know, missed our bed, missed being together in our bed"

"We'll be together tonight" I say and she sips her wine

"I can't wait to have Kay home, I bet she's missed her own bed too"

"She's missed you anyway"

I smile "She has hasn't she"

"What's making you smile?" She asks and I shake my head

"I don't know.. I guess.. Kay has always been closer to you Al and I know I wasn't around all that much but it's just nice to know she misses me"

"Casey, that child adores you with everything in her, you are her inspiration. All I hear is Mama this and Mama that, believe me you're more important than you think"

"But I missed so much" I argue and Alex takes my hand

"But you were there when we needed you, she loves you, she loves both of us Casey and we have to sit her down tonight and explain what's happening with you"

"Why?"

"Well, if we don't and you start loosing your hair she's going to ask serious questions. I don't want to scare her and Case, we need to explain that you are okay"

"I know.. I guess we should do it tonight, get it over with"

"It'll be okay Case, she's young, she'll just be happy you're back home for games night"

I laugh as Alex collects up the remains of our dinner

This'll be okay. And that's the first time I've felt like this in a while, I guess being home puts things in a new light.

xx

"Kay, Mama and I need to talk to you" Alex calls down the hall to the girl, who runs up and within seconds is beside us

"Hi" she smiles, showing her adorable pearly white teeth and I pat the couch beside me

"Hop up beside me baby girl"

She fires herself up onto the leather suite and Alex frowns at me, the numerous corrections about jumping down into the furniture still not sinking in with me and now I'm teaching Kay to do it

I smirk and she smiles back and sits the other side of Kayla

"Okay Kay" I start "Mommy and I, we.. have to have a grown up talk with you and you need to listen real good okay?"

She nods and I kiss her forehead "Good girl, okay.."

Alex looks over to me and nods

I sigh "Okay Kay, ya know the way I've been in hospital?"

Kayla nods

"Well, my doctor said I need to keep getting medicine even though I'm at home"

"Cool" she says, a tone of awe in her and I hear Alex snigger behind her

I smile and bite my lip "Yeah, it's kinda cool but Kay, listen okay, the medicine is really strong and it's going to change some things about me"

"Like what?"

"Well, I'm going to be sleepy and I'll be in bed lots"

"Oh okay" she nods "You were in bed in hospital too"

"I was" I take her small hand into mine "Kay, listen okay? Um, ya know your hair?" She nods "Well, the medicine is going to make my hair all disappear"

"Forever?"

"No, not forever, just while I'm getting the medicine but I'm going to look different okay? But its not scary, it's good because its making me better"

She's silent for a minute and Alex breaks the tense quietness in the room

"Kayla, honey, have you any questions about anything?"

I can almost see in her little eyes that her brain is trying piece everything together

"Mama?" She says after a minute and I smile

"Yes sweetie?"

"Are you going to die?"

Alex's jaw drops and I look Kayla in the eyes

"No, baby, I might be sick but I will not die. I'm getting better. Okay?"

"Okay Mama"

Alex is still in a state of shock and Kayla wraps me in a hug

"Love you Mama"

I smile and treasure the girls embrace

"Love you too sweetie"

She moves onto Alex's lap and repeats the process and when we're left alone again when Kayla has gone back to playing with her toys Alex turns back to me

"Where the hell did that come out of?"

"She's a smart kid Al, she picks up on things like that. Remember when your Dad was in hospital last year?"

Alex nods, flinching at the mention of her Fathers illness, his death was a very painful experience for her

"Well, when Kayla and I were having lunch one day she asked if Grandad was going to be an angel with Holy God and Al, that was last year. Kids pick up in things, even if they don't fully understand them, she probably thinks death is when someone goes away and doesn't come back"

"Well she's smarter than I gave her credit for, for her to ask, just like that, jeez, it's crazy"

"She's growing up"

"Our little baby's not so little anymore is she?"

"Definitely not" I smile and Alex takes my hand

"Shall we bath her and sort her things for school tomorrow?"

I nod and Alex helps me off the couch

"I could get used to that" I smile and Alex kisses my cheek

"It won't be for long, hopefully"

"Ah, I don't know about that, you could still wait on me hand and foot when I'm better, I'm growing accustomed to it"

"Aw, was it hard at first to get used to?" She says sarcastically and I smirk

"Maybe... a little.." I avoid her playful swat at me "C'mon, we need to start this ones bath" I walk towards the door and she stops me, wrapping her arms around my waist "Love ya"

"Love you too Al"


	13. Chapter 13

I run the brush through my thinning hair and I hear Alex's sigh behind me

"You look gorgeous baby, stop worrying"

I turn and face her a frown on my face as I again scrutinise my choice of dress for Abbie's party

"Al, does this make me look fat?"

"No and neither did the grey one or the blue one"

I sigh "Sorry, it's just.."

"I know Case but you can't do anything about it now, whatever will happen, is going to happen whether you want it to or not"

"I know that, it doesn't help me feel any better though"

"It's your hair?" she asks, already knowing and I nod

"Yeah, it is"

"Your hair looks fine"

"It's falling out in clumps Al. Big, massive, noticeable clumps"

"No one will notice, I wouldn't notice" she runs her hand over my hair "You look beautiful, and we're going to be late"

"Sorry"

"I don't want you to apologise baby, I just want want you to feel comfortable, do you want to go tonight? Honestly. Abs will understand if we bail, she said that we don't have to worry if we can't go"

"I want to go, I do.. I just don't want people to look at me differently"

"Darling, these people are our friends, they most they'll ask is how you're feeling and they'll leave it at that, they don't expect details or anything. It's a party baby, we can have fun"

I smile as she kisses my hand

"I love you Casey"

"Love you too baby"

xx

"Al! Case" Abbie smiles as she pulls us into her arms "I've missed you two!"

"I missed you too Abs" Alex smiles as she kisses the woman's cheek and Abbie turns to me

"Hey hon' long time no see!" she smiles "glad you and Al came"

"Yeah me too Abbie" I smile and she kisses my cheek

"Hope you have a good night hon', hey, what'll you have to drunk?"

"I'll just um.. have a soda a guess"

She nods "I'll make it a large" she smirks and I sit with the others at the table

"Hey Case" Serena smiles and Liv says something from beside her but the loud music blocks out her voice so I smile and nod my hello

Abbie comes back with our drinks and Alex smiles

"Thanks Abs, so how's everyone been? Rena, haven't seen you since the Johnson case last month, it's been too long.."

I listen to their conversation, not really taking part and after about an hour Alex scowls

"What's up babe?" She asks in a hushed tone and I snap my eyes up from the ground

"Yeah I'm good, just a little tired"

"Should we go?"

"No.. No I'm okay"

"You sure? You're quiet"

"I'm just tired Al"

The room spins and Alex looks at me sceptically

"Case, you sure you don't wanna go?"

"Y-Yeah, now I kinda changed my mind"

She grabs my hand "C'mon babe, you're starting to look kinda pale"

"I-I don't feel too good"

"You'll feel better after a sleep"

I nod and she helps me out of the bar, saying our goodbyes as we leave

We get to the car and just as I sit into the cool leather seat I have to jump back up and out of the car to vomit into the bushes by the parking space

Alex slips her arms around me "It's alright baby, get up all up"

I moan against her and she lifts me up into her arms

"We need to get you home babe"

"Ally.."

"I know Case, I know. It'll be alright"

xx

I heave against the toilet again, it's gotten to the stage where I'm actually vomiting up nothing

Alex has her arms around me, comforting me but its doing little good if I'm honest

This is making me so sick and there's nothing I can do about it

The chemo is making me feel worse than the cancer did, ironic, no?

My stomach seems to settle and I relax back against Alex who whispers support into my ear

I nod and run my hand through my hair and pause as I take it away

I look to my hand, covered in my red hair and I want to cry. That's gotten worse too!

God.. I wonder is it obvious but I can't bring myself to check the mirror

I don't need too now, Alex's sharp intake of air answers my question loud and clear

"It's bad isn't it?" I whisper and she nods, unable to lie about this

I look in the mirror and see a gap, a big gap where my hair used to be and I nod and take a deep breath

"Al? I need you to help me"

"With anything. What do you need?"

"Shave my head, get the hair off now, I'm not letting myself be tormented by it falling out in clumps, I want it gone"

She nods "I'll get the razor from the back closet, you sit in the kitchen"

"Thank you Alex"

"You don't need to thank me Case"

xx

"Well, Kayla is going to freak out"

I smile "Yeah probably.. I guess we're lucky she's with your Mom for the weekend"

"Ya know I'm kinda happy about that myself. Mom gets very lonely without Dad and I bet she really appreciates the company"

I run my hand down my hairless head "Oh Jesus, that feels weird Al!"

"Don't touch it then" she smiles and I smirk

"Great advice, thank you"

"Case, you still look beautiful, don't look like that"

"Alex, I'm not an idiot, I know I must look horrendous-"

"You don't. You're still beautiful Casey, my beautiful wife and hair or not my opinion will not change"

"I love you Al, but I find it hard to believe that your opinion won't change, how could you still find me attractive like this? I-I'm bald.. I mean.. How can you still be-"

"I love you. I don't care if you're bald or if you had hair down to your heels. You are my wife, the mother of my child, how could I ever not be attracted to you?"

"Alex, honestly, can you look at me now and tell me this doesn't freak you out?" I ask and I swear she looks hurt

"Casey, don't you think more of me than that? How could I be freaked out by you, I've seen you at your best and I'll stick by you through the worst because I love you. I love you for you, not for your hair"

"So you don't mind? Really?"

"I really don't Case.." She kisses me and sits in against me "How're you feeling?"

I nod "A little better, I think you should keep kissing me though"


	14. Chapter 14

*10 months later*

"Casey, Olivia called, they need you after the appointment, some warrant on a the David's case?"

I nod and run my hand through my shoulder length deep red hair

"I feel better. No wait, I will feel better when I never have to see the inside of oncology 2 again"

"It's the last check up babe, you won't need to go in again-"

"Mama, Mama!"

I smile and lift the girl into my arms "Yes baby?"

"Are you able to bring me to school today? I want to show you my painting"

I smile as Alex kisses my cheek "You'll have plenty of time before your appointment if you leave now"

I kiss Kayla's forehead "I'll take ya baby"

"Do I get to see this painting?" Alex asks and Kayla thinks for a minute

"I guess, when I bring it home, I want Mama to see it first though"

"What's it of?" Alex asks and Kayla grabs her bag

"Us"

"Us?" I ask "Me, you and Mommy?"

"Yup!"

I smile as Alex shrugs and hugs the girl

"Okay Kay, see you later, have a good day baby"

"Bye Mommy"

xx

"Wow, Kay. That's really pretty"

She smiles and sits into my lap "Thanks Mama, I painted you with your short hair cuz my red ran out, I used too much on the house"

I snigger slightly "Well it's still lovely, Mommy's dress is nice and the birds are too. Mommy's really going to like it, are you allowed take it home?"

"Yeah, teacher said once its dry we can"

"Can I take it with me? I'll put it up on the fridge at home, okay?"

The girl nods "Okay Mama"

"Hey, Kay can I have a little chat with you before I go?"

"M'kay" she gets a serious look on her face and I wrap my arm around her

"Listen okay, ya know the way I was sick and I had to go to the hospital a lot?"

"Yeah, Mommy brought me in last time and we had McDonald's after"

I smile "Yeah, that's then. Well baby, I don't have to go in anymore"

"Are you all better?"

"I am, well, I'm getting better but the doctors said I don't have to go back for a while, I'm getting better baby"

She frowns "So we won't be able to go back to McDonalds?"

"Of course we can, we can go tonight if your Mom doesn't mind but I just wanted you to know that I'm feeling okay again, alright?"

"Okay Mama"

The bell rings and Kayla stands off my lap "I need to go sit with Aaron"

"Aaron?"

"He's my best friend"

"Oh okay" I smile and kiss her cheek as I slip the painting into my purse "I love you Kay, see you later"

"Bye Mama" she goes to leave and then stops "it's good that you're getting better. Will you get me after school?"

I nod "I'll get ya Kay, now go play, I'll see you later"

I watch her run towards the table and sit beside the boy I assume is her 'best friend' Aaron and I can't help but smile

She is such an angel!

xx

"So what did they say?"

"They want to have a few check ups a year, just to make sure it's not coming back but other than that, I'm free"

Alex smiles and kisses me as she plates up dinner

"That's brilliant baby, see I knew you'd be okay"

"It could come-"

"No, you will not finish that sentence" she cuts in and I roll my eyes

"Be real Al, it could"

"It could and right now it isn't, live in the right now, please"

I nod and Kayla comes running in hearing Alex's call for dinner

She sits up at the table and starts eating her dinner

Between mouthfuls she pauses "Where's my picture Mama?" She points to the fridge and I stand up and grab the picture from my purse

"Sorry baby, forgot to put it up"

"-Wait!" Alex says looking to the folded piece of paper in my hands "Lemme see"

I smile and hand her the picture and when she unfolds it she smiles "Wow, Kay, that's really good, it's really pretty"

"Thanks Mommy" she smiles eating again and I bring the picture to the fridge and stick it up to Kayla's delight

xx

"She's so smart, isn't she?" I walk up behind Alex and slip my arms around her waist

"She is, our baby girl"

She smiles and runs her fingers over the painting

"I'm so proud of her.." Alex starts kissing down my neck "I didn't think I could ever feel like this, so happy"

"I'm happy too baby, really happy"

"Does everything feel like its falling into place? Or am I crazy?" She laughs against me

"You most certainly are not crazy Al, life's pretty good right now" I capture her lips in mine "I love you, so much"

"I love you too baby"

I lead her out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom

"Let's go to bed, I need you Al"

"Hmm, well, I think that's a wonderful idea"

xx

AN: I've decided to end this here, hope you all enjoyed it regardless of the quick-ish ending.


End file.
